A weekly arts and entertainment newspaper in northeastern Pennsylvania has—no joke, at least none that I can detect—named Lindsay Lohan’s dad, Michael Lohan, Father of the Year. They gave him a certificate and everything.
Where to begin?
The story portrays him as a reformed man who is now helping troubled families find rehab help, and supposedly founding a wellness rehab center of his own in Beverly Hills. All of that is terrific. Seriously terrific. Anyone who does that work for a living (or even a charity) should get an award.
But what does it have to do with being a father? The story doesn’t say.
Understand, Lohan isn’t just Lindsay’s dad. He’s also a former commodities trader convicted of insider trading. That doesn’t make him a terrible person, only a convicted person who did his time and may just be rehabilitated. However . . . this story claims that he doesn’t seek media attention for fame. He seeks it to protect his family.
How exactly does he do that? What is he protecting his family from? The media?
OK. So you talk to the media, make sure you remain in the media, and you do this to make sure the media doesn’t hurt your family? That’s a little like swimming in a school of piranha to make sure they don’t bite your nuts.
This is the kind of disingenuous P.R. crap that drives me batshit and makes suckers of every person who can’t see the bare -assed hypocrisy of it all. Like when Kate Gosselin or Sarah Palin or any other human lightning rod complains to a reporter about the intensity and unfairness of the media.
You don’t like it, go away. Run away from the light, Carol Anne! MOMMY IS NOT IN THE LIGHT.
Folks—and this goes for everyone out there who ever faced a camera and a spotlight, or fiddled with the notion of making a sex tape or auditioning for anything from a reality show to a game show: Fame is a choice. Infamy, however, chooses you, and you can run from it and allow it to fade.
If you claim that you truly do not seek fame, then truly do not seek fame. Stay the hell away from anyone with a camera, microphone, or digital voice recorder. You sure as shit don’t let them into your apartment—as Lohan did here with this writer—and tell them all the dirt about your ex-wife. That is called perpetuating your fame. Sorry, award-winner and award-presenter, but it is.
This writer seems convinced that Lohan is genuinely an award-winning father. Whatever. For you d