Introducing: The Bird Poop Facial

The Nightingale Excrement Facial (read: bird poop facial)—an ancient Japanese beauty secret practiced by geishas—has made its way to some of the most trendy spas and the world.

Oh yes, wealthy patrons in New York and Beverly Hills are shelling up between $185 and $225 to have hot bird droppings massaged into their pores. (Isn’t being rich awesome?) “The droppings contain natural enzymes that help to break down dead skin cells and guanine that polishes the skin, making it glow,” according to one New York City spa that offers the service.

Experts say it actually might work. “Bird droppings have uric acid and are nitrogen based, and if rubbed on the skin can exfoliate and could be beneficial, but only in a superficial manner,” says Hayes Gladstone, M.D., director of dermatologic surgery at Stanford University. “But [free] pigeon droppings from out in the park may be just as effective.”

Historically, people have gone to great lengths for “healthy” skin, dating all the way back to Cleopatra, who, legend has it, maintained her pristine complexion using ingredients like turpentine, onions, and even goose fat. In fact, one of her favorite facials was said to include warm ass’s milk and honey. Some ancient cultures even purified their skin with urine. R. Kelly’s personal preferences notwithstanding, we’re fortunate modern science has offered us better options.

Instead of using partly digested twigs and berries to slough off dead skin, dermatologist Dennis Gross, M.D., author of Your Future Face, recommends Alpha Beta Daily Face Peel. By exfoliating a little every day, you’ll avoid redness, he says