How to Fill Your Four Loko Void

Ginuwine, 90s RB star and the new face of Adult Chocolate Milk

By Andrew Daniels

Lushes everywhere who are still mourning last year’s federal ban of Four Loko and other caffeinated alcoholic drinks can now find solace in a new concoction: Adult chocolate milk. Not only does it help college kids get a wicked buzz from an innocent playtime drink—it might also resuscitate the career of an aging RB has-been. (But probably not.)

The vodka-and-cocoa mixture contains 20 percent alcohol by volume and is only available in a handful of states out west, but will soon expand to Costcos and frat houses everywhere. Best of all? It’s being shilled by none other than Ginuwine (or Elgin Baylor Lumpkin, as we like to call him), best known for the ubiquitous slow jam “Pony,” (circa 1996). We’re not sure if Ginuwine has enough star wattage to sell anything these days, but if the partnership yields more pictures as ridiculous as the one above, then we’re all for it.

Ginuwine’s drink isn’t the only new alcoholic beverage making waves in Four Loko’s wake. There’s also whipahol: booze-infused whipped cream in the form of two new products—Whipped Lightning and Cream.

These whipped cream creations are resonating with college students and underage teens because:

A) They’re ostensibly delicious (different flavors include pumpkin pie, caramel pecan, white chocolate raspberry, and cherry)

B) They pack a punch. A canister of Whipped Lightning contains 18 percent alcohol by volume—the equivalent of having three to four beers—while Cream is 15 percent ABV.

Neither brand of whipahol is considered a food product by the FDA, so they aren’t subject to standard label requirements. And as a result, they’ll likely be around a lot longer than Four Loko.